For most of my adult life I remember writing new year resolutions on agendas, notebooks, small pieces of paper, sheet music (partituras), etc. I would sometimes even make small signs or decorated posters that I would display on my desk or kitchen window to be reminded of these noble aspirations every time I passed by. Undeniably, these good intentions showed my best but naive desire to be a better violinist, a healthier person, a more organized parent, a faster reader, a more organized teacher, etc.
However, after the Covid 19 pandemic in 2020, I did not feel the need to continue with that tradition and so when January 2021 came I did something different and included nothing on that year’s resolutions that had to do with self improvement. That year, as I was beginning to understand the depth of our society's obsession with "improvement" (and how much dissatisfaction that brought, and how little "acceptance" it rendered) I decided to make a short list of the four mindful things I had already learned during the pandemic: to meditate a few minutes a day, to go for walks or step out in nature, to smile when I get up, and to be grateful for every bit of food I put in my mouth.
And then, at the beginning of 2022, I thought I didn’t need anything new added to that little list from 2021, so I left it intact on the kitchen’s window, and I was happy with continuing to look at it as it was.
And here we are now, January 2023, realizing I have not thought of resolutions or anything similar this time around, and in fact I am not even sure where I put my 2021 sign that was on my kitchen window until just a few months ago! This January I’m finding satisfaction in the fact that I can pause and reflect upon these old New Year traditions and not do much about them. And that brings me a new kind of peace that helps me realize, once again, that all we ever have is this moment, this breath, this second now. The past has ceased to exist and tomorrow has not yet been born, so resolutions that have to do with any moment that is not now are ephemeral at best. Time is therefore a human construct that we keep trying to control, segment or define, but regardless of the significance we want to assign to these dates and celebrations, time will continue to pass, inadvertently, as a series of nows, and it is then, in each now, that we can make choices, and grow in plenitude and peace.
So, I will continue to be a witness of the changing seasons and the nature all around me. I will continue to observe my thoughts and notice the changes in my body and the impermanence of all things in this fleeting life,
but it will be in a new year without resolutions,
without self improvement promises,
without little kitchen signs or expectations,
but with a gentle intention to breathe,
to pause,
and to quiet the mind.
A new year,
to be,
radically,
this being that already is,
all around,
everywhere,
magically
and eternally,
conscious and aware of now,
in this green and blue,
planet.
Happy “new” year everyone, and all the best to you as we return to the classroom!
© 2023 Cecilia Calvelo
